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Tornado Bowl


Tornado Bowl is a great example of how, back in the day, they would take anything, regardless of how horrifying it might be, and turn it into a board game. Though, Tornado Bowl is another one of those that straddles the line between board game and toy. But, as with any of the others, it comes with a base and pieces that go on it, so that, in my opinion, makes it a board game. Regardless of semantics, Tornado Bowl is for up to 4 players, and takes around a half hour to complete. There's no designer listed, as seems to be the case for most of the games I cover these days, but then again...what's to design here? You'll understand when you see it. Tornado Bowl was released in 1971 by Ideal, which is kind of ironic because it's less than ideal to be stuck in a tornado. The description for the game from Board Game Geek is as follows:

Here's a game for those who like wild and wacky excitement! You set up your pins, then the TORNADO TOP is released...and the frenzy starts! The TORNADO TOP runs riot in and out of the players territories...slamming all pins in its own way. Players furiously try to smack it away with their Deflector Gates...but who can stop the TORNADO TOP? You score for each pin still standing when the TORNADO TOP stops. The first player to get a score of "15" is the winner!

So, right off the bat, you'll notice something...this is a game featuring a top. Which is...about as exciting as shit got in 1971, not gonna lie. You had three things to do in 1971. Listen to Simon & Garfunkel, enlist in Vietnam or play Tornado Bowl. That's it, those were your options. Shit was pretty limited back then in the entertainment department. Also, and maybe it's just me and my weird issues with the way things are named, but Tornado Bowl sounds like a special Football game. Like, if you lose the game that's supposed to take you to the Superbowl, instead you're forced to go to the Tornado Bowl, and hopefully you survive playing the dumbest sport during a tornado. Actually, adding a tornado to almost any sport would instantly make it ten times more entertaining. Imagine Tennis during a tornado.

So, as I started above, this is the "board" proper, and, uh...yeah. I think words don't really work to properly explain with this is a letdown. I think the image does enough in that department. I mean, I realize this was 1971, so humanity had only really been around for about 4 years at this point, but you couldn't have, like, I don't know...put some effort in?

Personally, if Tornado Bowl had been a topdown game featuring a popup style town, ala "Hotels" (which released only three years later!) or something, where you unleashed a tornado and see what it knocked down and whoevers stuff was left standing got points, then we'd have an interesting game here. But as it stands...this is just...a tornado knocking colored pieces around on a teal piece of plastic. I try to be pretty open minded, especially to older stuff, but this is one time where I'm gonna have to draw the line and say that this had basically no effort put into it from a design standpoint and, for once, perhaps the fact there's no designer is actually not an oversight but someone actively deciding they didn't want to be associated with having birthed this multicolored monstrosity, and really, who could blame them.

Also, and maybe this is just a coincidence, but...this game came out the same year as "Crossfire" while having kind of the same concept in a way, and frankly, I think Ideal might just be a hacky company.

Overall, Tornado Bowl is an outstanding disappointment on almost every single level, sans the box art, which, while nothing to write home about, is at least competant. Also, I'm not sure the people who made this game have ever encountered a real tornado, cause, you know, you can't just push them away with some gates. Tornado's don't give a fuck about what you do. They're gonna do whatever they want and you just have to deal with it. All in all, Tornado Bowl is a poor excuse for a board game. And I say that as a woman who can appreciate simplicity, but even then the simplicity has to be worthwhile. Here, it simply isn't.

Frankly, and perhaps I'm alone in thinking this, I'd have more fun being in an actual tornado.

But hey, that's just me.

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