Horror House

You know, it really surprises me the sheer amount of horror based board games there are. I mean, on this blog alone we've covered Seance, Slime Monster, Beware The Spider, Mystery Mansion, Ghost Castle, Haunted Mansion, Haunted House, and perhaps more horrifying of all, The Game of Life. For such a flooded market, the fact that horror is a genre that continually pops up in board games is quite impressive, but then again, humans are stupid simple creatures who enjoy being spooked. So then, let's add yet another to the list, shall we! This week, we're focusing on 1986's "Horror House". Also funny how many of these just happen to take place in a particular domicile of some sort, be it a mansion, a castle or a house.

With no runtime, no designer credit and the only publisher being listed as Bandai of all people, Horror House might just be the singularly most obscure game I've covered, and that's saying something, considering I thought we'd covered some pretty obscure stuff before this. BoardGameGeek describes the game as such:

Escape the Horror House where 45 of the worlds monsters wait to terrify you! Battle with the monsters: If you win the demons scream; when you lose the monsters bellow a wicked laugh. A game for two to four players...never play alone. Play consists of moving around the house fighting monsters
by inserting the sword into holes in the electronic death head to determine the outcome (screams, laughter or the clashing of swords determines the winner) ie: electronic dice rolling and outcome.

Let's just, before we move on, focus on the fact that this is a game meant for children that has something called an Electronic Death Head in it, which is pretty awesome. And while that sounds like a fairly generic playstyle, let's actually put our attention on what really matters here, which is the design, because good lord does this thing kick all KINDS of ass.

You can see here in this compiled photo all the little trinkets you get with the game, including the cards, the tokens and the sword of course, and man, the artwork on this stuff is out of this world good. These look like legitimate trading cards from a trading card game. The artistry is on that level, man. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. I wanted to give this sort of overall view before diving into specifics, just to give you a taste of the fantastic stuff we have in store for us, because while most of the games we've discussed this month have indeed been duds (alright Conspiracy wasn't terrible, but it was no Horror House) I feel like it's only fair that we wrap up the month with something absolutely delightful.

One of the things that really throws me about Horror House, beyond its generic B movie title, is the amount of stuff it comes with! Sure, one could argue plenty of board games come with pieces, but this thing is literally loaded to the brim. Cards and tokens and game pieces and of course the Electronic Death Head - which is my new Metal Band by the way - and it's almost overwhelming the amount of trinkets they give you with this game. And I can think of no better place to start in proving that than perhaps the cards themselves, since they're the most prominent on this image. Scope these bad boys out.

Just LOOK at these. LOOK at them. Really, truly ogle and appreciate them, because these things are fantastic. With an almost EC Comics vibe, these would be by and large the best aspect of this game, if only everything other aspect wasn't also knocked out of the park. I almost genuinely wish this WAS just a card game, because these would be so rad to trade with. The colors especially are absolutely gorgeous, and I don't think it's a stretch to say the standout piece here has to be the King of Demons. Though the Grim Reaper is a pretty solid runner up, the King of Demons is an absolutely mesmerizing piece of art, which is, arguably, understanding. He is a king after all. I also love the little bloody borders that house the artwork, which almost look like watercolors, though I could be wrong. Either way, these cards are probably my personal favorite aspect of this game, even if they aren't the most impressive part.

Because if we're going to discuss artwork, we cannot ignore the box itself. While featured at the start of the post, it's time we truly dissected this visually and appreciated the wonders we've been given. Again, giving off major EC vibes, this box is truly spectacular. Featuring some of the most famous monsters (though Dracula being most prominent), the colors and again just general artwork is beautiful to behold. And dead center (heh, dead center, get it? horror comedy) is, of course, the Electronic Death Head, or rather an artists rendition of it. Don't worry, we'll get to that bad boy next. 

And each monster looks to have their own personality, which is a very cute idea, none of them look remotely the same, facial expression wise, and that's such a nice little touch. It would've been so easy to phone this in, especially when compared to other board games box art - specifically the horror ones which seem particularly trashy at times - but thankfully whoever designed this did a bang up job. If only finding out who designed this was possible, but alas, people sadly often go uncredited in this line of work (art, in general, not just board games).

And what's weirdest is all this artistry, this excellent attention to detail, came out of Bandai! Not Milton-Bradley, not Parker Brothers, not Hasbro or some other smaller board game company. No. Bandai, who generally just bring us video games or board game adaptations of their video games.

Speaking of the Electronic Death Head, let's admire him for a moment, shall we?

If there's anywhere where this board game falters, it's the Electronic Death Head, because for something so fantastically named, it is ultimately just a hunk of cheap green plastic with a poorly molded skull on it and a little spinner wheel beneath. But that's not necessarily the games fault, really. I mean, that's just kind of how it goes. Board games, no matter how well designed, ultimately come with cheap plastic. It's just the way the dice rolls.

That being said, this thing is still a nice little centerpiece, if only because it adds a little variation to the board. I also love their commitment to keeping it spooky, and using green plastic to mold the Electronic Death Head (it's just fun to say!) out of instead of your standard skull white. A nice little touch, aesthetically, really.

But I suppose that's what leads us to the greatest part of the entire thing, because while the cards are gorgeous and the box art is frame worthy and the Electronic Death Head is just plain cool overall, even if only thanks to its name, all of this pales in comparison to the board proper, the thing upon which the Electronic Death Head sits! I present to you now, in all its glory, the true centerpiece of Horror House...it's board.

Have you ever seen a more beautiful thing? I mean, really?

While Horror House excels in every single aspect, where it truly all comes together is the board proper, and what a board it is. Radical enough to strike fear into the heart of other board games, honestly, and appropriately given its name. However, its board is where I also take issue with not having information on this games designer, because whoever worked on this did a spectacular job, and they truly deserve the praise. Sure, it's your typical top down square track board that we're all overly familiar with, but even then there's just so much to appreciate about it! The colors, the "Finish" with the skull at the bottom and, perhaps best of all, the King of Demons head seated front and center at the top, with blood dripping out from beneath him while he sticks his tongue out at us. Glorious. Just glorious.

Yes, visually speaking from a gameplay standpoint it might be a little hard to look at and understand where exactly you're meant to go - even if it is a track board and those are typically easy to figure out - but who cares. When you look this cool, you don't need to be easy to understand. That's just the law of hotness, baby. I also have to mention the ooky green coloring of the board proper, and the blood around the edges, keeping much in line tonally with the cards, which is a fantastic idea to callback to. Really proves that each aspect of this board game compliments every other aspect. Horror House is really something special, and frankly, one of the few greats we've really covered on this blog. Sure, there's the "classics" like Sorry or Mouse Trap, and then there's stuff like Town Dump which, the less said the better, but then there's just the best of the best design wise such as Horror House or Fireball Island. Those rare board games that went the extra mile to prove it really is an art form and not just cheap child friendly entertainment.

And those are the ones that should most be remembered, not because of their longevity in the marketplace or because they're so bad they're good, but because they did what nobody else would, and they put in all the effort they had to show us what could truly be done in a medium so often considered easily replaceable and forgettable. Those are the board games that, in my opinion, are truly the best examples for the argument of artistic preservation regardless of medium.

Horror House is a work of art, no other way to put it, and I'm happy to end a rather lackluster month of posts on such an absolute banger of a board game. Here's to you, Horror House, you magnificent bastard. May you one day get the recognition you so rightly deserve as the best of the best, cream of the crop, top of the heap of the spooky board game genre!

It'd be an honor to die in your hallowed halls.