The Game Of Life

One of the board games I never understood the popularity of was The Game Of Life.

Perhaps, if you grow up in a healthy, well functioning, non abusive family then the game takes on different connotations and becomes simply something you can do to pass the time. But for someone like me, who grew up in a unhealthy poorly functioning abusive family, the game becomes a swift kick to the crotch about how much better your board game life is to your actual life, and how depressing that can be. It was almost as if your leisure activity were laughing directly at you for not being capable of achieving the things everyone else seemed capable of achieving, like having a family or going to college or even getting a job.

To be fair, I never played The Game Of Life all that much. I wanna say we owned a copy, but I'm not even sure that that's true. Or if we did, we simply didn't play it a whole lot. I think part of the problem is that, as a kid, the game seems too far away and uninteresting because we weren't adults, and as adults, the game seems too close to home and depressing because we aren't living good lives. Or at least I'm not.

But actually, there's more to the history of this game than I could've ever anticipated, and it's kind of fascinating too, because it really shows how the game board progressed along with the times, not to be "hip" or anything, but simply because life was changing around it, so thusly The Game Of Life had to change as well to represent the modernity of the life it claimed to accurately portray.

Originally created in 1860 by Milton Bradley, and originally titled The Checkered Game Of Life, it was actually America's very first parlor game. For those not in the know, a parlor game was a group game played indoors. Sort of a precursor to the board game itself. Things like cards and dominoes would likely be considered parlor games. The modern version, however, was published 100 years later in 1960, and was co-designed by toy and game designer Reuben Klamer and, after being heartily endorsed by Art Linkletter, went on to sell more than fifty million copies. Those are pretty big numbers for that time period, just so you know. Today numbers ranging in the millions in terms of views on a video or ticket sales are not unusual at all, but back in 1960 that was impressive.

Reuben Klamer doesn't have a whole lot of interesting factoids to discuss, except for this one that states he was also the creator of something called Gaylord The Walking Dog. After having looked Gaylord up, I can easily say that I love him and would die for him.

But one thing that does irk me about Klamer is his claim to fame for the board game. He was inducted not only into the Hasbro Inventors Hall of Fame in 2000, but also the Toy Industry Hall of Fame in 2005. And while he's not without his merits, I mean the man created the dog, the myth, the legend that is Gaylord after all, I guarantee he was inducted for his hand in the "creation" of The Game Of Life.

But the thing is, he didn't really "create" The Game Of Life. He merely updated it. He's sort of just riding on the coattails of Bradley's former 100 year success story, and that seems a tad sleazy to me. If you're going to attain fame and fortune, perhaps you should do so with something you created first hand. Had he been inducted because of Gaylord, I'd be all for it. After all, who wouldn't want to celebrate that glorious old hound. But I guarantee that isn't what put him there. You shouldn't get unwarranted success simply for modernizing a concept that existed 100 years prior. Sure, The Checkered Game Of Life isn't the exact same as The Game Of Life, by no means. They're not even the same medium. One is essentially a bingo card and the other is a full fledged board game, but the concept is essentially the same, the name is almost the same, and I don't know the whole thing just kind of reeks of "hanger on" fame to me.

What's worse is that the modern version is the one that sits in the Smithsonian National Museum of American History and not the one actually created in 1860. And perhaps it's just because no copies of the original lasted, but if they did, then I'd argue vehemently that that's the one that should be in a museum.

Either way, that isn't to say the modern version isn't without its merits, by any means. As I stated at the beginning, The Game Of Life is interesting because to stay with the times they meant to portray, they had to consistently update the game. This means that in the 80s, the convertibles were replaced by mini-vans and the money value was doubled. This absolutely represents the 80s, honestly. The 90s version was no different, as it too was willing to tackle the changes of the times by rewarding players for good behavior such as recycling trash and helping the homeless. Ah yes, the 90s. When we actually gave a shit about important things. What a wonderful time. Hell, even as recently as 2017 they began including pegs and squares for acquiring pets, because most of my peers, let's face it, either aren't interested in or financially capable of raising kids.

I am not among those, though I do love my dogs, but I certainly applaud the willingness to modernize with the current times.

And with anything else, this would just seem like pandering. A way to stay relevant and hip. But let's face it, board games are barely relevant or hip anymore so that's not really an argument that stands up, and also The Game Of Life is one of - if not the only - things that can get away with this sort of constant updating because it's representing life itself. Certainly a, perhaps, more idealized and unattainable version of it, but life nonetheless. I think they, more than anyone else, have the right to update their game for the current day and age.

Let's just be glad they haven't started adding ridiculous shit like "fell ass backwards into money by becoming a Youtuber" as a job.

The Game Of Life is, to me anyway, a classic certainly but also really depressing. You're escaping life by playing for a better life. I don't want to know that all the things I'll never have in reality can be so easily obtained on a board game. It's kind of like playing The Sims, honestly. A house in the suburbs with multiple kids? Much as I want it, it ain't ever gonna happen, and participating in something pretend like that only makes me feel even worse about my reality. In fact, the only really good part to me about The Game Of Life is that it eventually comes to an end.

Just like real life.

And boy is that a relief.