Bargain Hunter

I can't imagine a funnier scenario than coming across this in a thrift store.

I didn't. That didn't happen. I just can't imagine a funnier scenario for finding a board game than that. Released in 1981 by Milton Bradley and designed by Michael Gray (once again no artist is credited that I can find but really does 'multicolored squares' count as an art design?), Bargain Hunter is perhaps the local income family version of Electronic Mall Madness. Now you live on the other side of the railroad tracks after some bad investments, and you can no longer afford the finer products in life, forcing you to do all your shopping at a thrift store. Gray is actually a fairly accomplished game designer who, ironically enough, designed Electronic Mall Madness. When I say accomplished, for the record, I just mean that he's successful. Not that the game's he's designed are decent. In fact, a majority of them appear to be novelty titles based on pre-existing IP.

"The Very Fashionable Miss Piggy Card Game", "Where's The Beef Card Game", "Mork & Mindy Card Game" are all prime examples. However, he found success with this formula, and I can't fault him for that. It worked, so kudos. Frankly, I'm a little remiss at the lack of questionably designed media spun off of pre-existing IP. We used to get these sorts of things all the time in the 80s and 90s, but these days it's pretty rare. Hell, now even video games based on things are great, and that never used to be the case. The future's taken the fun out of everything, man.

The game says it takes about 60 minutes to play, which sounds about right. That's about the length of time one can stand to be in a thrift store before being overwhelmed by perfume and moth balls from the stuff donated after someone's grandpa kicked it recently. The description reads as thus:

Are you ready to test your inflation-fighting skills in the marketplace? Bargain Hunter challenges you to furnish an apartment (complete with two different pets) in the most economical fashion possible. Starting out with 1000 $ in cash, you move your pawn along the path visiting Furniture Stores, Department Stores and the Pet Shop to buy specified items on your shopping list. Be on the look-out for sales and lottery prizes. But watch out for whopping big auto repairs, interest due spaces or steep restaurant tabs...They can really take a bite out of your budget! If you do run low on cash, use your plastic credit card which allows you to charge up to 1000 $. Complete your shopping list first *and* owe nothing on your charge account and you'll win the game.

Imagine living in a time where you could not only afford an apartment, but also afford to furnish it for 100 dollars or less. The good times are over. Okay so, I was wrong. It's not really thrift store shopping exactly, it's more that you're being thrifty in general. I actually don't have any problem with this, and I try to do the same thing in my day to day life. I actually love shopping at thrift stores.Though, I have to wonder, if you're already on such a strict budget, why are you paying for things like lottery tickets and steep restaurant tabs? I know everyone deserves to splurge a little, but come on man, you have nobody to blame but yourself if you're out here throwing dollar bills at a scam like the lottery. You deserve to be in debt.

 

I have to admit my personal favorite thing about this game has gotta be the fake credit cards. If Plasticard was an actual company, I would get my credit through them, because that's hilarious. They also give you the aforementioned cash, which looks like typical board game cash. Multicolored, each number represented by a various color, and each of a different amount. That's the thing about Bargain Hunter, there's not really anything new about it, but there's also not really anything bad about it. It checks every box on the mediocre but perfectly valid board game list that it could check.

In actuality, games like these were a dime a dozen. Monopoly sort of ushered in the whole monetary focused board game genre like nobody else, and everyone since has sort of just been trying to do their own versions of that, for better or worse. It's such a broad concept that there's a million ways to approach it, which leads to two things; an oversaturation but also an influx of fresh perspectives. Why not a mall filled with electronic madness? Why not hunting for bargains? There's no real reason for these spin offs to exist, but there's also no damage to them existing. It's simply more fodder, and I for one am okay with it.

We should talk about the board though.

 

The board is actually pretty damn neat. Okay sure, once again, it's very Monopoly. It's even got a "Payday" square, equaling to Monopoly's GO where you collect 200 dollars, and a lot of the squares have imagery attached to them representing what they're for, in case the words aren't enough, I guess? But what's especially neat about this board is how each area is represented by an actual little painting of each store. The pet shop, for example, has a little beagle dog while the furniture store has a little coffee table and couch. It's actually a very classy affair, and now I'm even more miffed by the fact that we don't have an artists to thank for this because this is a very well designed board. It's clean, it's minimal, but it's attractive and it's very easy to follow. Okay the color scheming is a little garish, but whatever.

Overall, I think Bargain Hunter, Electronic Mall Madness and every other pseudo "Monopoly" type game are a standard for a reason. You know they work. You know this formula is a success. It's like churning out a new Marvel movie. There's no risk, and you know the mass audience will lap this mediocrity up even if it's the same mediocrity they've been presented with time and time again for the last decade or so with just a new sheen of paint thrown on it. There's no danger in a safe bet.

And you don't get any safer than when hunting for bargains.