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Feeley Meeley

Ah yes, Feeley Meeley, the classic glory hole for your fist game we all know and love.

You know, for a game that states outright on its box "the game that gives you a funny feeling", I'm not sure how I much I trust this. Thankfully, contrary to what you're likely thinking, this does have rules and it isn't just a free for all. But before we get into the game, let's maybe discuss its origins, if any can be found. Obviously it was released by Milton Bradley, and the age range runs from 8 to adult, which is good, because there's actually small pieces that could be considered a choking hazard so thank god they put a limit on how young you can be to play this.

Designed by Emanuel Winston, also known as the man behind "What's In Ned's Head" (which is also as weird as it sounds, I assure you, and we'll see it on an upcoming post) and released in 1967, it calls 2 to 4 players and only takes about 10 minutes to get through a whole game, which is pretty good. A quick little party game, it could be considered. In fact, I'm willing to bet far too many people played this while absolutely blasted, because that's the only way you're going to get people to jam their fists into a dark void and reach around for something unknown inside.

It also is worth mentioning how it somehow was a nominee for the 2003 Japan Board Game Prize for Best Child Game, because of course it did. Have you seen what they do in Japan? This is a cake walk for them.

Play begins with all the items inside the box and the stack of cards on top of the box. The top card is revealed and players put their hands inside the box and attempt to recover, by feel only, the item pictured on the card. The winner is the player who finds more of the items. Pretty straight forward if we're being honest. Not very exciting, but at least very easy to understand, certainly. And thankfully it comes with pieces, it's not just a free for all where you can stick whatever you want in the box like discarded needles and bags of dog crap. Kids I could see perhaps enjoying this, but adults? Adults, like the ones featured on the box, likely are not the target audience for such a game. Thankfully, there is a kids box too!

Same box design, same title font even, nothing about this is more kid oriented except for the fact that they replaced the adults with kids. Hell, these kids simply look like the kid versions of the adults from the previous box, except the redhead seems less like she's screaming and more like she's having fun while the little girl in the red dress is enjoying this way too fucking much, and someone should get her therapy. That is not the look any child should ever have for something like this. But perhaps the most damning alteration on this version is the age range, which now states "For Ages 5 to 14". So they not only went down in how old you had to be to play it, but also capped how old you could be to play it, and..why exactly was this changed? This change makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Now only children are allowed to stick their hands into the box of mystery? I really hope an adult is present for this. A trustworthy adult. Not a drunk uncle out on probation for some sordid crime or something.

What's worse is the game actually does come with instructions on how to make it more entertaining, including swapping items out for things around your home, including, and I'm not kidding, "pieces of clothing", thus making this game - and its kid version - all the more sketchy.

While doing research for this, I actually discovered the game was featured in a scene from the horror film "The Conjuring", which makes sense, honestly. This thing is a living nightmare. In fact, it was so oddly prominent that it's got its own page on The Conjuring wiki, though not much information is given beyond describing the game itself. But according to an article on The Hollywood Reporter, the game was chosen as a stand in for a Ouija Board, because both make use of peoples hands. The article in question is describing apparently "cursed objects" within the film, and yeah, that sounds about right. I'd consider this game a cursed object. For once Hollywood got it right.

All in all I'd wager in it being a safe bet that this is one of the most uncomfortably awkward games I've covered so far on this blog, and thankfully now that we've covered it we won't ever have to cover it again. And kids, remember, if someone asks you if you'd like to stick your hand in a box of mystery, please, tell an adult.

You deserve to play better board games.

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