We're finally tackling a big one here, fellas, that's right...it's Battleship!
Battleship is, I'm sure, a game that anyone and everyone has likely played at least once in their life. It wasn't a game I owned growing up, sadly, not for any particular reason either we just never bought a copy. But it's certainly a game I always loved. It's also a unique game in the sense of how its set up. It's one of the rare board games where you don't get to see where the other player is, because it doesn't take place on the same board as you're on. A truly novel concept back then, certainly. Not novel enough for a terrible feature film presumably based on it in the loosest sense of the word, but novel nonetheless.
Battleship also has hands down one of the coolest color schemes. It felt oddly futuristic when playing it as a child, and I think a lot of that is simply owed to the visual design of it. It's set up in this pseudo war games type view, with black outer box and a misty blue inner workings, with red and white pegs that have to be slotted into the board and your ships. It's all very cool looking, and it gave it a unique tonal feel that most board games lack. But as neat as Battleship as a game actually is, I do have one nitpick, and that is that the box design has never changed ever.
Seriously, scope out the OG box.
It's the exact same concept. These were released decades apart, but they didn't bother to really come up with a new overall design. At least with Screamin' Eagles they did a nice little paint job on the front of fighter jets in a dogfight, and even the crappy remake at least had art of planes on it. Albeit shitty lifeless art, but art nonetheless. But Battleship? No ships battling, ever, at any point in history. Also, I somewhat take offense, as a woman, to the wife and daughter in the background who for whatever reason have to be shown washing dishes. Because that's where we belong I guess, and we always had to be put in our place, even on board game box art in the 50s or whenever the hell this is from.
Don't get me wrong, at least this, unlike the one at the start, is a painted piece. It's not just a photograph of two kids pretending to play the game. There's artistry that went into this, and it's well done, even with its mild sexism. The colors pop, there's nice shading, the angle is...odd, but it works I suppose. Though I must admit, I'm personally a fan of the more modern black and blue than the more garish bold colors used here, but hey, that's just me. Though it should came as no surprise at this point that this didn't stop them from re-releasing it with a whole new box...with the same old cover.
Once again here we are, locked in an eternal battle between two family members or friends, in this updated version.
Again, the same colors as the original - red and blue - but now a photograph. We were getting closer to the modern variation, but we just weren't quite there yet. This time, however, we've moved from father and older son to two younger children, so a part of the puzzle had been slotted into place now. And, much as I like Battleship, I do have to question the tagline on the box that reads "America's All Time Favorite Game". That's a bold claim, dude. How does one come to that conclusion? Was there some sort of Family Feud style survey done at some point that narrowed down what America's all time favorite game was? And note, not even 'board' game, but just game, in general. Above Baseball, above anything else, stood Battleship? I doubt that very much.
Okay, so I'm being picky about wording, sue me. But still, it's a totally fine piece of box work; same layout as the original with the vintage MB sidebar and just some updated visuals, but still not the one we've all come to know and love. Not yet. But let's see where the next upgrade takes us in 1978.
The last stop on the nostalgia train is this version.
Still kids, but now with a really nice photograph, and the game board is looking the way we expect it to. Still has the classic sidebar on the box, but they do give you some neat little images on the other side that show you how the game works, which is nifty. I also respect that the font for the title of the game has essentially never changed, and just had very minor variations on it over the years, making it a tad bolder and more navy like. Also, no outrageously bold claims like the previous box, no, just a completely standard piece of box work. Why did we shift from painted cover art to photography? Cheaper, I'd assume, is the reason. I'm not saying that photography isn't a talented skill like painting is, but one clearly takes longer than the other.
These aren't the only ones, either. There's so many more. So SO many more, and most if not all of them are essentially the same concept. Two people on either side forever locked in eternal watery battle.
I'm just, more than anything, baffled by the fact that they never went whole hog and threw in even a photographed cover of actual battleships, let alone a painted piece of battleships like Screamin' Eagles had. Would've really spruced the thing up. At the same time, however, I value consistency, and I appreciate that these guys found one thing and stuck with it. That's dedication to your brand, boy.
During my searches, I did come across this singular variant that did actually have a piece of art on it, and I found it very very cool. Over the top, certainly, but cool nonetheless.
But, in a way, perhaps it's better this way. Perhaps it's better they stuck with the safer route.
Besides, if they had gone the route of Screamin' Eagles, lord knows it would've only been a matter of time before it would've given way to something bland and lifeless like Screamin' Eagles remake suffered from, and that would've really been awful, wouldn't...
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